Blogger Notes

Friendship is a funny thing. See, I don't have many of these - friends, that is. Of those I do have, I only consider a few "real" friends. Out of those few are maybe two whom I consider "close" friends. These would be the ones that know where the dishes and food, extra blankets and toilet paper are in my house. So, where does that leave the rest of them?

There are the ones who call you when they need something - be it advice, a favor or a material object. There are the ones who you call up and hang out with about once a month because that's just what you've been doing since... oh, forever. There are the ones who you call "friend" but really don't see, talk to or even know any more.

And then, there are the ones who you've just met and are starting/trying to figure out if it's worth your time to stick around or not.

This would be where my current problem lies. I made what I thought was a new friend. But usually friendships are not one-sided relationships. They are based on a commonality of some sort. This particular relationship began well enough. I was actually pretty excited since, as I've said, I don't have many friends these days, especially not ones I see pretty much every day. However, I feel like instead of a friend I'm more of a sound board for which this person to bounce her constant relationship issues off of.

Beyond this, I feel her morals are questionable, at best, and some of her actions are inconsistent of what I feel is "right." Now, is it acceptable for me to remain friends with her if she is the one committing these acts even though I don't feel it's right? If I don't, would that be judgmental and superficial of me? If I do, won't that be hypocritical of me?

Lately, I've been finding myself becoming increasingly short with this person. I shy away from answering my phone if it's her and I find reasons to reduce the amount of time I spend with her. Clearly, this isn't fair on my end to her but each time we hang out, it's more of the same. Moreover, I find at times her stories are inconsistent with what she had told me prior and honestly (which is the biggest issue at hand, I would say) is a big thing for me.

I guess it would only be fair to explain to her how I feel and ask if we're going to be friends or if she only needs someone to vent to. In any case, I suppose I'll probably stick around until I phase out of her life for one reason or another...

In the meantime, I'll count my blessings for the friends I do have. <3