I'm beginning to not like school so much...

10:56 AM | 0 Comments

Ok, I wasn't planning on blogging today, but since this has struck a nerve YET AGAIN, I figured I'd lash out here (though, EZE has already bore the brunt of this lashing - ILY baby!).

When you're 18 - you're considered an adult. It's the LEGAL age to purchase tobacco, enter an adult video store and even fight in a flipping war. You can work, rent a hotel, rent an apartment, buy a house, open a credit card in your name, take out a loan, open a savings acoount... BUT - You're still not an adult.

At the age of 21 - you're considered an adult. You can drink alcohol. (Whoo-hoo.) Yep, you can legally choose to participate in an activity that puts thousands of people at risk every year.... but, you're still not an adult.

And when you're 24, you are magically responsible enough to take out student loans on your own even if Mommy and Daddy haven't been feeding you for the past 8 years, let alone paying for your education. Hell, if a 20-23 year old is struggling to the point of needing financial aid in the first place, is living on his or her own, has a job and no criminal record, AND is trying to further their education by taking undergraduate classes, why in the HELL can't they secure their own student loans?

At least when you hit 24, you're "LEGALLY" an adult.

Oh, wait. Most places still won't let you rent a car until you're 25.


It's a good thing I don't smoke anymore. :-)

I haven't forgotten about my blog...

1:22 PM | 1 Comments

Ok, well I have - sorta. But the truth of the matter is that I still don't know where I'm heading or how I'm getting there. I thought I had it figured out again, just to learn that there are yet another 100 obstacles in the way. Not saying I won't jump each hurdle IF I know that the result is one I really want. I guess I'm not all that positive any more.

(Yeah, EZE, you can quote me on this... I recoil my prior statement of being SURE.)

Grr... back to the drawing board.

Words to Live By

10:30 AM | 0 Comments

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and one for helping others."

-- Audrey Hepburn

Holiday Reflections

10:24 AM | 0 Comments

As I was writing that last blog about Christmas I remembered something I had written last year about the season. I thought I'd post it here to share with you.

It's that time of year again...



Christmas is here!

So, that magical time of year is upon us yet again. It's really hard to believe that another year has flown by so quickly. You know, time is really a funny thing. When I take a moment to pause and reflect on how much things have changed in the past 12 months, it really boggles my mind. There have been some pretty amazing times, heart breaking situations and instances that I know I have taken for granted.

Each day seems as if it passes relatively slowly. Yet, when a certain event, such as a holiday or birthday, occurs, it is not unusual to hear phrases like "Wow, where has the time gone?" or "That flew by!" Yes, time will always pass at the same rate - it is unchanging yet we, as humans, are constantly changing - always growing and learning. Before the close of this year, I wanted to take some time to share what I have learned this year:

1. Cherish every moment. If you are always preparing for something - waiting for the "right" time to do something - stop! The time is now. THIS is your life. Live it to the fullest.

2. Tell your friends and family you love them. Make time to call - or even email if you must. Don't let the day to day get in the way of the people that truly matter to you. Everyone has a busy life. It's nice to hear that you're being thought of once in a while.

3. Don't be afraid to let go - to grow - to learn - to take risks. It's not worth holding on to something if you are not happy. The reality is that we all live life once. Do it for yourself.

4. Never forget to kick back and have some fun. Genuine, real, laugh-until-your-stomach-hurts-and-you-have-tears-streaming-down-your-bright-red-face fun!

5. Take initiative. Work hard. Be honest. Take pride in everything you do.

6. Take credit when you do something well. Congratulate yourself and be proud.

7. SMILE! A lot.

8. Remember that everyone has problems in their lives. And most of the time, there is someone out there worse off than you. So, count your blessings and give back when you can - even if it's just taking a few extra seconds to hold the door open for someone or letting that car cut in front of you on the highway. You might be running late for work - that person cutting you off might be rushing to the hospital because his wife is in labor.

9. Take things in stride. Let go of the little things. Don't gossip. Try to be a little nicer - remember karma.

10. Every day is a chance at a new beginning - a fresh start. Stick to your guns. Stand up for what you believe in. Don't get taken advantage of - don't take advantage of others. Just be you.


I also wanted to comment on the spirit of Christmas. Now, for those of you that know me - I mean really know me - this won't come as a big surprise. Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year. And it's never been Christmas day itself. It's not about the presents or Santa. I consider myself a religious person, but it's not about the birth of Jesus, either. To me, the miracle of Christmas has always been about the days and weeks leading up to it. While most everyone else is out bustling about with holiday shopping and preparing family meals, I prefer to watch the snow fall or listen to children laughing as they wait for a picture with Santa. I love how at Christmas everything in the world - for just a few still moments - seems right... at peace, even. People smile more and greet each other happily as they walk down the street. Arguments seem insignificant and selfishness and greed melt away; after all, "It's Christmas". The spirit of the season encompasses a sense of hope. And this is what strikes me the most.

I don't come from a wealthy family by any means. When I was younger, it was an unspoken understanding that we wouldn't have as many presents as our friends and the ones we were fortunate enough to receive were never nearly as good as those of our classmates. So hoping for that beautiful 3 story dollhouse or bracelet from Tiffany's wasn't even a thought. That's not the kind of hope I'm talking about. My family, as most families, is full of drama and complications so hoping for a wonderful Christmas where everyone got along or sat around a piano singing Christmas carols isn't what I mean either. I mean the kind of hope that you get from watching someone worse off than you opening a present. The hope that you get from seeing strangers show kindness to one another. Hope that is gained only at Christmas. Hope that one day the whole world can live in harmony and people will act year round as they do at Christmas.

This year, I am very fortunate to have the most amazing friends that anyone could ever dream of. For the first time in my life I truly feel loved, appreciated, needed, wanted and secure. I have come a long way in my short 22 years and I actually feel proud of myself. I'm looking forward to my future instead of dreading it. I'm enjoying life and worrying less. I'm letting go of things that are out of my control and I'm preparing for the wonderful things that I finally believe lie ahead of me. I've realized that true friends are there for you no matter what - regardless of the number of times you call on them (or the time of day, for that matter). And I've realized that the family - the family I keep trying to build and hold together - I've been searching for is right here... my friends truly are my family. I love you all so much and I appreciate everything you have done for me this year and always. I am truly privileged to know each and every one of you and it makes me smile when I think of all the memories we share. Thank you just for being you (and for reading this novel, if you are still reading!).

At this special time of year I just want to say, Merry Christmas. I wish you all a warm and happy holiday. May you find your own magic in this season and the kind of hope only Christmas can bring.




It's (almost) that time of year again! Woot!

10:14 AM | 0 Comments

Autumn is my favorite season. But Christmas is my favorite holiday. Though I put a few pumpkins and skeletons up for Halloween, I took them down today to make room for the inevitable... a slew of Christmas decorations. This is my first Christmas living with a child. If I'm lucky, there will even be 2 children present to celebrate the holidays this year. Therefore, I believe it will be an absolute sin to not go all out this year!

This means a tree, decked out with lights, garland and ornaments, strands of twinkling colors gracing every window, snowmen, Santas, reindeer and red and green on every wall, shelf, and corner so that it's impossible to forget the season is upon us no matter which way you turn. This means baking cookies of every variety, roasting a turkey for the first time, wrapping and hiding presents in odd places, breaking out the Christmas tunes and of course, the magical spirit that wraps it all in one neat little package.

I can't wait to get started! Of course, so as not to tire those I love too quickly, I will be courteous enough to wait until AFTER Thanksgiving to begin this. The Christmas shopping list and the shopping itself, however, I am ready to begin ASAP.

God, I love Christmas!

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You see things and you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were and I say 'Why not?' ~George Bernard Shaw